Breaking up from a serious long term relationship can shake a person to their very core. And before you can even consider going out to find your new “plus one” take a moment to go through the following tips. You don’t want history repeating itself now do you?

Ensure that you’re Ready

I’m quite sure your friends have already told you to jump right back on the horse. Now that would be a great idea if you’ve just been dating casually. However, when breaking off a serious long-term relationship, no matter the circumstances, is a very emotional journey. Even your self-esteem may take a beating.

So, allow yourself the space for your emotions to normalize, nurture yourself and give yourself enough time to mourn and heal before dating again.

Know What you’re Looking For

Having suffered through the turmoil, it’s only natural for someone to avoid going through it again. So before you dive back into the dating pool, create a mindset and know exactly what you are looking for. Are you looking for a casual non-exclusive relationship? Or are you looking for a marriage partner?

The clearer you will be on what you’re looking for, the easier it’s going to be to keep yourself in check.

Keep it lighthearted.

When you do go out, remember to enjoy yourself, and try to find humor in those less-than-perfect dates. Consider them lessons that teach you what you don’t want. Don’t take your dates too seriously, and laugh about them with your friends. Each new date gives you a clear idea of what you’re looking for, so when the time comes, you won’t have any doubts.

So get out there, have fun, and stay in the moment. Remember that laughter and happiness is attractive. Create new memories, some funny anecdotes, and who knows you might meet that someone special.